Sun 2/17/2013
5:37 PMA beating heart
A work of art
Less so right now,
Taken apart.
Or perhaps more?
The colors soar.
We've got shades
of red galore.
A steady rain
comes from a vein.
Torrential warmth
I can't explain.
Each little drop
lands with a plop.
Of lovely sound,
a bumper crop.
Some hits my face.
I get to taste
a flavor that
I now embrace.
From head to toes,
this rain goes;
a pleasing scent
enters my nose.
My senses dance,
enter a trance.
With this art,
I find romance.
I feel such glee
at what I see.
This work of art
was inside me!
Oh whoa, my head,
It's time for bed?
Oh shit, I guess
this means I'm de--
"Amy" (Sun 2/17/2013, 10:23 PM):
I like how it's not obvious what the speaker is talking about. I read it once, then twice and it just got funnier. The metaphors you've chosen are very subtle, not to mention cheerful. It sets a very delightful macabre atmosphere.
Oh man! I just realized each line is 4 syllables! FFFF that's some dedication. XD
"Brightsuzaku " (Mon 2/18/2013, 12:32 AM):
#PEOPLEMEATS. That's all I can say... Yummy!
"Amy" (Mon 2/18/2013, 12:45 AM):
Fresh #Peoplemeats! Although, really, the heart should come out last in order to keep everything fresh.
"Aaron" (Mon 2/18/2013, 1:56 PM):
Also, the rhyme scheme is a-a-b-a. And I covered all 5 senses. And...the heart should come out last?! After what else, exactly?!
"Brightsuzaku " (Mon 2/18/2013, 8:08 PM):
The heart should come out after the brain, and the somewhat more safely edible intestines. Once disemboweled, you can use the materials to make some killer sausage! Or something. #peoplemeats
"Amy" (Mon 2/18/2013, 9:33 PM):
Yes! Keeping the heart pumping fresh blood throughout makes sure the #peoplemeat stays fresh until harvesting. It's an art.